Sunday, January 18, 2015

Peace & The Consultation

My last post was about how fearful I was of beginning fertility treatments again. That morning I was battling this internal panic, but once I "called it out" and addressed it with the Truth of God's word, the panic & fear left. I read and re-read the scriptures that I blogged about. I took captive the thoughts of fear that were infiltrating my mind and trying to control my emotions.


It's funny-not-funny how surprised I am when this happens. God did what He said He would do! When I cast my cares upon on Him, peace followed. When I leaned not on my own understanding, He directed me. When I determined that I was not going to let fear steal my joy, I found strength. I trusted, and He was there. Mind you, this was one day, and not even all 24 hours in the day. Please don't read this as "look at me, I did so good!". Read it as, God answered my prayer. I've been praying for God to remind me of the ways that He provides for me and the ways that He does answer my prayers. He is good and he does answer my prayers...I don't want to take His grace for granted. I don't want to only focus on what He hasn't provided for me yet. On that Thursday morning, He answered my prayer and calmed my spirit. Praise Him!

With my calm, thankful heart, we drove to Shreveport to my doctor's office (an hour away). My appointment was at 3 pm and we arrived a little early. (Side Note: I am NOT an early person, so the fact that we were early is also a miracle.) I signed in at approximately 2:40 pm; we sat down and waited for our turn. The waiting room was rather empty, so I was thinking, "This is good...we probably won't have to wait very long." I was incredibly wrong. Dr. Vandermolen, God bless him, called us back to his office at 5:30 pm. Yep, almost 3 hours of waiting. I was beginning to think I was going to die in that waiting room. I couldn't get mad because he is so patient, answers every question, takes his time explaining things, and does not hurry you out the door at ALL. While he's taking his time with me, someone else is waiting their turn. (When we left at 6:15, he still had another patient to see.)

First, he gave me and Jordan both high 5's for our weight loss and overall health improvements! Yay!

We discussed the 2 IUI's that we did two years ago (my first IUI was with my then-OBGYN). He said that on paper, everything looks great. Since nothing has changed medically, we are still working off of the diagnosis of "unexplained infertility". He told me again that I was an "excellent egg-maker" - woo hoo!

(Side Note: I asked how many cycles I did with my OBGYN. I did 6, not 9 like I had originally posted.)

So, now what?

He told us that if we wanted to go straight to IVF we could. He said that there is a very strong argument for doing one more IUI, possibly 2 more IUI's, but anything beyond that would be a stretch. IUI #4 would be straight injections, no pills. We would do Clomid, then Menopure, then trigger shot.

I asked about using Femara instead of Clomid. He said that since I have responded to Clomid as I should, he doesn't want to switch to Femara yet. If I wasn't ovulating or something like that, he would have already switched to Femara. If I want to do 2 more IUI's, he would do Clomid with the first, and if that wasn't successful, then he would switch to Femara.

My immediate response is, let's do one more IUI. Money is an object, plus, I want to exhaust all options. I want to do one more IUI and if it isn't successful, I'll have closure knowing that I did everything that I could do up to that point, and now it's time to move forward. Dr. V also said that our health improvements do help our chances of IUI #4 being successful. (Jordan is on board with whatever I want to do. Bless him.)

I can't remember exactly off the top of my head, but my doctor's percentage of success with IVF is very good. They are not a "boutique" clinic where they just take people's money and do as many treatments as they want. They do what they believe is medically necessary to achieve pregnancy. They also do high risk IVF's. Couples who have been told that there is no hope, they will give them a try. (Apparently this is a thing...fertility specialists will turn away couples that have lower chances of conceiving so that if the IUI or IVF fails, it will not negatively impact their numbers. Rude.) I know of several people who have done IVF with Dr. V and have beautiful babies to show for it!

Overall success rates are: 20-23% with IUI, and 60-63% with IVF. When I look at those numbers I think, "why am I wasting time on 20-23%???"

HOPE. I really do have hope. It's scary to hope because you can be let down, and that crash is so hard. If IUI #4 is not successful, then we will move on to IVF, but for now, I'm focused on hope & IUI #4.

"Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise." Hebrews 10:23

I could have started IUI #4 this past week, but decided to hold off until next month for a few reasons. 1) I wanted more than 4 days to really think about this. I know, I've been thinking about this for months, but I felt like I needed to talk to Dr. V, then process that info, then make our decision. 2) We are in the middle of re-setting our eating habits with the Whole 30 eating plan. I want to wait until we are finished with that. 3) The main reason is that Jordan has a lot going on at work right now, and I would rather wait a few weeks until that extra stress is out of the way.

Whole 30 ends February 3rd and Jordan's work stress stuff will be over by then, too. We will begin all of the pre-IUI blood tests within the next week or so - Dr. V wants to update some of my blood tests since it's been 2 years.

I would love to have your prayers. Specifically: for my body & spirit to be calm and receptive to the medicine, for healthy follicles to release fabulous eggs, lots of strong sperm, that those fabulous eggs would be friends with that strong sperm, that the fertilized egg would implant in my uterus, we would get a wonderful BFP, and that I would have a healthy pregnancy which will produce a healthy baby Rome. Amen!

I'm excited for IUI #4. I believe that it can work for me. I am holding on to hope!

XOXO - Lindsay


  1. Love this post, Lindsay!! You are awesome. Hoping with you!! Love you!

  2. Hey girlie! I found your blog through Melissa's. I think you're so brave to share your story with us all! Praying and hoping with you!!!

  3. Prayers, prayers!! I'm soo glad that you started this blog. Love you girl!