Today is the day of our consultation with my RE, Dr. Vandermolen. I have been a little anxious the past few days, but today, I'm all-out afraid. I'm afraid that today is a new beginning for loss, failure, disappointment, sadness, etc. I'm afraid that we are going to repeat what happened 2 years ago. Ultimately, I'm afraid that my dream of physically bringing a baby into the world is going to die. I know, I sound so dramatic, right?
The only thing that can combat my slightly irrational fear is scripture. Since this is out of my control, I'm going to focus on what I can control - me (sort of). I'm going to choose to trust God and not to doubt. I'm going to proclaim peace over my heart, mind, will, and emotions. I will be ok. I will be ok. I will be ok.
Here's what I'm thinking on today...
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:4
"Nothing can shake me; He’s right by my side. I’m glad from the inside out, ecstatic; I’ve pitched my tent in the land of hope...You’ve got my feet on the life-path, with your face shining sun-joy all around." Acts 2:26 (The Message)
I'll update more later. Here we go!