Friday, March 6, 2015

Hello, March!

Has anyone seen February? I know, it's so cliche, but how are we in March already?? I'll get over my "time flies" shock in a minute.

For the month of February, we planned on doing our IUI. I started a new cycle, called my doctor and they scheduled me for an ultrasound. This is completely normal. Every month that I've taken Clomid or done any kind of fertility treatment, they do an ultrasound on cycle day 1 to check to be sure that there aren't any cysts, make sure you aren't pregnant, and to check other things that I'm probably not even aware of. All of my ultrasounds have been fine. No major cysts, no pregnancy (obviously), etc. The appointment is so textbook that I didn't even get Jordan to go with me because it's so "not a big deal".

Well, this ultrasound was a bit different. I'm watching the screen as they are doing the ultrasound, and I see it...a big black hole. A cyst. I watch the nurse practitioner pause, take measurements, look at it from different angles - we got a good look at that sucker. I have no idea how zoomed in we are, so I ask, "Ummm, how big is it??" To me, it looks a little bigger than a golf ball. She said, "it's very, very small, but I want to get some labs to see if it's producing hormones..." (She also told me the exact measurement, but I can't think of it at the moment.) Great. I do the blood work, and they tell me they will call me with the results in 24 hrs. If it's not producing hormones, I'll start my injections that night, but if it is producing hormones, we'll have to wait another month to do the IUI.

SIDE NOTE: She said that it looked like a "functional cyst" not a polycystic cyst - yay silver lining!

The nurse calls the next afternoon to tell me that we need to wait another month. It's not a major cyst, but with the amount of money that we will spend on the IUI, they want everything to be as clear as possible. They didn't give me any meds to get rid of the cyst because it should dissipate on it's own. I was bummed about having to wait, but thankful that my doctor is cautious. Overall, my spirits are in a good place about this.

The next week was the ice/snow storm. Monday, we went home early from work because it started sleeting and the roads were freezing. Tuesday, I didn't have work at all because the roads were still icy/frozen. Wednesday, the ice had thawed to where it was safe to drive. It was raining a little bit, but nothing major, so we went in to work. Then it started snowing, and the snow was actually sticking! It was so pretty! We went home around 1pm - we don't know what to do with full on snow in Ruston! (I think we got around 3-4 inches of snow.)

I was thinking about all of the crazy weather & road closures when it hit me. If I would have started the injections for my IUI, there's no way I would have been able to continue with the IUI. The way this works is that I have to go back to the doctor every 4-5 days for labs to see if they need to adjust the dosage of my meds. With the ice/sleet/snow, I wouldn't have been able to drive the hour to Shreveport and would have possibly wasted some of the meds. Who knows, maybe there would have been a way to make it work somehow? But I think that Jesus was looking out for me. He saw what the next week looked like, and knew that I wouldn't be able to travel to see the doctor like I should. Maybe they would have just told me to keep the dosage the same and moved forward anyway? I probably would have been anxious and worried that it was all for nothing.

Did Jesus put a small cyst on my ovary so that I wouldn't be able to start the IUI? I don't know. Could He have controlled the weather instead? Yep.

I don't know all the answers, but I do know that He looks out for me. He's in my corner and wants the best for me. Maybe I'm making a bigger deal about it than I should, but I've prayed and asked God to open my eyes to see how He takes care of me. I know that He takes care of me in big ways & small ways. I don't want to be so wrapped up in what I've got going on that I miss the details that He tends to. I need Him in the small details just as much as I need Him in the big details.

I have all of my meds ready to go, so please be praying that if I don't get pregnant on my own this month, that everything, weather included, will be all clear next cycle.

So, now we wait...some more. :)

XOXO - Lindsay